For more than 10 years I grew up through most of my teenage years without a father figure. My father left the household in 2013 through a divorce. Even though we kept in contact and occasionally met on the rare weekends, it didn’t feel like we had the best of relationships.

In 2020 I had a chance to reconnect, and started to build a stronger relationship with him. But after all this time it felt as if I had no idea who this person my father really was. Being older, we were more open, and the weight of responsibilities gave way to new conflicting inter-generational perspectives.

I started the project by joining my father on his hobby of boar hunting. The first time I went, I felt fear, anxiety and a rejection of the sport. To me it did not reflect the kind man I remember my father was from my childhood. I only saw it as an ultra-masculine and cruel sport.

As the project progressed I went with him on more hunting trips. The more I talked, the more I learned, and it gave way to new perspectives and insights as I tried to reconnect the relationship I had with my father. Remembering the past and bridging it to the present gave way to a lot of conflicted emotions. Especially through the memories of a child. The questions that arose are ones that intimately explore the innocence of childhood and how it conflicts with aspects of growing up.

This project is an ongoing personal story of reconnecting and accepting my own father.